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The Original IKP Post!!! I know, it's a link. But it's what I've got, ATM. Remember, it IS under construction, this here site...
Below is a partial transcript of what's in the link. Pikeman: Dared to insult my moderating capabilities at http://www.ambrosiasw.com. Claims to be Derek Zoolander. Tried to drink from a toilet paper roll.
Clueless: Ate 2 spaghettis through his nose. Reported that he was unable to duplicate the feat using canneloni.
Desert Rat: Did his homework 2 days before it was due.
Painless: Invited Martin into her home. Twice. She also went to Milwaukee voluntarily. Admitted to being from Inverness, Scotland.
[Ed: Inverness - OOH! /me shivers]
Demogorgon: Left a mercury bottle open for some hours in a closed room. No word on whether he was actually IN the room at the time, though…
Starkiller: Strapped himself into a machine designed to throw him up in the air, and then let him fall back down. While this appears to be merely another form of airline travel, he claims this is some obscure amusement park ride. After you, Starkiller…
Captain Tripps: [quoted directly from his letter due to my being unable to decipher it:] Cordoned off a parking deck with caution tape whilst dressed in paper environmental suits from the industrial supply store and walking around a weird looking object built by a friend of mine and I which included a tape recorder underneath with a tape in it that made increasingly loud and insistent beeping noises until we ran like hell screaming bloody murder and caused the evacuation of the parking deck. Fortunate that we went to high school with several of the Sherrif's Deputies who showed up.
In a separate incident, Captain Tripps "inadvertently" started a webboard cult - the Trippsians.
BattleDoctor: [quoted from his letter due to it being pretty funny] One day my friend and I were bored, and we had been wondering what pickle brine was like. We went into his kitchen and between us we drank the better part of a large, empty jar of pickles. We both started exlaiming over how delicious it was, the we promptly threw up all over the kitchen. Then we did it again the next day.
Spl_cadet: Devotes life to doing good. Made solemn vow never to perform premarital sex. I [the editor] respect this; but admitting it at ambrosiasw.com – that’s insane…
Washer: [quoted due to it being an incoherent letter] i don't drink, i don't smoke, i don't do drugs (besides a little caffeine), i don't eat meat, i don't eat/drink dairy, i don't eat eggs, i'm a virgin, i chose to go to the library to study yesterday, i spent practically all my money on a new pedal for my guitar.
[Editor – that last one was what qualified him for the IKP – I just threw in the rest to make him miserable…]
Thunder: Built a toy catapult out of popsicle sticks, tape, a yogurt container, and rubber bands. Launched small rubber toys "nine meters across two rooms and into the toilet." Received membership into the IKP and a citation for outstanding marksmanship.
Dualblade: [quoted from his letter]
1. Me and my friends poured a whole can of lighter fluid into a bonfire. Very fun, almost blew us up too.
2. Me and my friend WilSch shot off fireworks at school during the daytime. Almost got caught, but not quite.
3. My friend Mitchell snorted a pixie stick. Needless to say, he was on the floor in a snap, holding his forehead in searing pain. Then my friend Eli snorted a line of powdered lemonade. His sinuses were burning for hours.
[Editor: IKP membership has been awarded to DualBlade, Mitch and Eli. I also earnestly hope Mitch seeks professional help…]
Floozy: claims to appear naked in school yearbook. Pierced a friend’s tongue [identity deleted for safety] and claimed to listen to a whole Brintey Spears song.
[Editor: I know that it’s "Britney" and not "Brintey", but I figure that more people will email me if there’s something to fix…:D)
Phoenix Avalon: Admitted to being boring on the ASW boards (www.ambrosiasw.com)
Jules/ewan: Does free climbing (rock faces, no protective gear). Sat in the middle of a busy freeway and pretended to meditate for a half an hour. Apparently has a multiple personality disorder.
Coreycubed: Claims to be a sensible person, at least when there’s no full moon… Asked about karma on the B&B boards.
Jormungand: [quoted from letter] hmm... I can't really think of anything insane. Would the eating of sodium silicate count? How about sending this topic to a friend who thinks I'm chronically insane and then attaches everything to how it has no life/the Jeep Grand Cherokee and iBook is ugly/GWB sucks? I'm sure he'd qualify...
[Editor: Attention! Anyone who can translate this note is automatically a member of the IKP!!!!]
Gwydion: [quoted from his letter, because it made my head hurt] I've got a hobby of collecting large, sharp, pointy, and rusty objects made of spring steel. Also known as 'swords and knives.' Another thing, I'm obsessed with IRC to the point where I compiled my own IRC server and demand that I am always connected to the internet (to my own server and irc.ambrosia.net).
[Ed. Not much I can comment on that...]
ElGuapo7: Founded the IKP. Plays chess with the chess sharks at the local train station. Falls in love despite repeatedly swearing to himself that "he'll never do THAT again..."
Evil Homer: [quoted from message] Once jumped out a moving taxi, and had to walk home (about 9 miles). But I was paralytic at the time so probably doesn't count; still can't remember half what I did that night !
Used a pencil to complete a circuit with 240V running through it. The wood started smoking, then went on fire, until finally all that was left was a length of graphite, glowing a very bright orange.
[Ed. This explains a lot about you, Homer... :D]
Joe Burnette: [quoted from message] Once fired a 30-06 cartridge in an 03-A3 that had been rechambered to .300 Win Mag. I was picking powder granules out of my cheeks, forehead, and hand for about 3 weeks. Not really insane, just stupid.
Rapelled down a 130-foot grain elevator. Rode with the Red Baron Pizza Squadron. Paddled a Folboat about half a mile beyond the surf to get a close look at the big fish - it was as long as the boat.
[Ed: sounds crazy enough for me! Note to other gun enthusiasts - is that gun thing as dangerous as it sounds? And you can't tell me you dropped pizzas out of AIRPLANES!!!]
antihero: Admitted to appearing on #ev3 stoned 3 days in a row. Upon being polled, the other people there confessed to being unable to tell the difference.
Joolzman5: Replied to a computer generated message, just to irritate me.
CrazyTom9: Put his nose in a dish of wasabe (Japanese horseradish) and, unlike President Clinton, he DID inhale...deeply.
[Ed: Got us another "Featured Member", it seems!
Iridium/Bunnicula: Tried America Online willingly (for a very short period of time...) Installed RAM in a computer without grounding himself out, in a carpeted room in the winter(low humidity, high static)
[Editor: I did something like that once - expensive upgrade...]
coreycubed: [quoted from letter] "...took one of those "60 in 1" electronics kits, hooked up a few wires to a dead cockroach, and watched its legs wiggle. Cool."
[Editor: Strange. No, INSANE!]
Headeater: [quoted, because he tells it better than I can] "Well... I'd come under the "stupid" rather than "insane", but I once gave myself a nice little burn testing a theory regarding ion heat creation in an arc...
You see, I built a 15000V generator out of the flyback transformer in a defunct Mac Classic, a pair of 1N3055 power transistors, and a few high-wattage wire-wound resistors, and, after burning such things as alfoil, mechanical pencil leads, wire insulation and so on, I noticed something strange... whatever was attached to the positive terminal (i.e. the HV out) remained perfectly intact, whereas whatever was on the ground terminal either glowed white-hot, or burst into flames. So, I came up with an idea regarding heat creation - namely, that since the anode (positive terminal) would attract negative ions (in this case, single electrons), it'd tend not to heat at all (electrons being very light - little energy transfer), and the cathode (ground/negative terminal) would attract positive ions (in this case, atomic nuclei stripped of a couple of electrons), which would be far heavier and thus cause greater heat.
So, to test this, I attached the 15kV terminal to my finger with sticky tape (with HV/low current devices like I was using there, the main thing is not to let an arc form - an arc can burn you far worse than the actual current flowing through your skin), made sure it was secure, powered the thing up with a long insulating screwdriver, and moved my finger to within 1.5cm of the negative terminal (a bolt). An arc formed, I felt a not entirely unpleasant (but also not entirely comfortable) current flowing through my finger, and I waited. I then noticed a small amount of smoke coming from my finger, and smelt the unmistakable smell of charred flesh. I quickly powered down, and looked at my finger. An area of skin about 0.5cm^2 was completely black. This was merely a carbon deposit, and washed off under a cold tap, leaving an interesting-looking yellow patch on my finger, which, after a couple of weeks, turned into a blister, and then healed.
If there's sufficient demand, I might consider doing it again so I can get photos..."
[Editor: It's that LAST SENTENCE that got him into the IKP, by the way...]
[Editor: Headeater was also kind enough to submit a few notes on power safety, pasted below:]
low voltage, low current (consumer battery devices and plugpacks): little->no risk
low voltage, high current (car batteries): little->no risk to exposed flesh, can explode/melt metallic objects such as rings, causing severe damage to flesh.
medium voltage (100-500V), low current (joybuzzers etc.): can cause pain, but no real risk of damage
medium voltage, high current (mains power, charged photo-flash units): can be lethal, depending on contact area
high voltage, low current (flyback transformers): current is incapable of causing damage, but arcs can burn
high voltage, high current (great big power pylons, power substations): will kill. always.
So, don't do stupid things with high current devices. Even if it would give a posthumous membership to IKP. Please.
[Editor's note: We don't give posthumous membership in the IKP. If you get killed doing crazy stuff, that's called a Darwin Award. (http://www.darwinawards.com)
Phoenix Avalon: Listens to AM 7.10 repeatedly. At high volume.
[Editor: And that's this week's update!] |
